Just a girl, remembering.......

This was made with a Cherie Roberts Tube, and with an "Afee Scrap kit" I used some brushes on it too. Made it for a tube challenge at a group I am a member of over on MSN. Wasn't in the mood to tag very much today, I tried but I just couldn't. Name of tag you ask? "I'm just a girl." lol. I was hearing that No Doubt song in my head as I was putting the words behind the girl. "I;m just a girl, I'm just a girl in the world." Isn't that how it goes. lol. I am in a very strange mood. I have bitten of my thumb nail til it hurts and (Yes I know filthy habit) I usually don't do it. I am just in a mood. I am feeling rather I don't know. Dark? With a side of mischievous. My dad seemed that way a lot. He had a funny sense of humor. Man, I miss that about him. He would get this wild look in his eye. And a grin so big you could see it even behind his full hairy beard. lol. He rarely smiled. But when he did it was memorable. I was remembering a little bit ago, about the house me and Jen (my sister) grew up in. I was remembering one of the times we actually had snow. I was wearing this big poofy blue coat. Jen towered beside me as always, wearing a red ball cap that read Red Man Chewing Tobacco. Got that around here somewhere. Those little moments that you make into memories are the most important. I had no idea that one little moment we stood on that rickety front porch would bring back such good times from that time. Mom was in the yard taking pictures of the big snow flakes. Rare occurrence back then. Even rarer today. Well I am holding Lauren right now, so I best be off making more sweet memories now. While the kids are still little. I need to pet Chris too. He seems to have gotten sick along with Caitlin. Oh before I leave for tonight. I miss you Jen. I hope I can visit you soon!

Being Creative Tonight!

These are so fresh off the press (so to speak) You will be the first to see them...... I was over at creativedelusionz.com LOVE THAT SITE. I love just about everyone of their tuts!! That is where my newest got inspired from. Sometimes, I admit I just look at their "sample" and go from there. I hardly ever do things line by line. Unless I really really love their result or have a duh moment and just don't get it. lol. I tend to look over my stupidity when it is 3am. (I must be lonely) Sorry. Matchbox 20. This is called Bow Belle. *That was the tut name and I just ain't got no original title in mind.* But I did go my own way on my name. I made it with a glassy effect, than whatever they did. I can't remember right now. I did this one about two hours ago.. I feel like my peepers are dried out. Damn that nap I accidentally took at six this evening!!



I fumbled a bit with my name on this one. Finally being ok with not satisfied with the font called swenson. I don't know why I just kept thinking of that series of books I read. The main characters last name was Swenson,
"The Fudge Cupcake Murder." Would you believe none of the murders involve poisonings? Well so far. I haven't read two of the latest but it is on my things to do list. lol.
Oh to the point of my ramblings. This tag is called "Have Fun" I came up with that one. The sample tag had something like Brunettes can have blonde moments too or something like that. I just liked mine better. I used a Thierry Beaudenon tag. No idea how to pronounce that one. But I just ran with the "Who said Blonde's have more fun?" thing..... There was one part on the thing I was like HUH?! So I just winged it.
Here is "Bo" Yup, little Bo Peep lost her sheep.. There are two versions. This is suppose to be the animated one. But I guess I can't show the animation. Oh phooey! But the heart behind her is suppose to move it is called "Bling" And my name is suppose to have noise in it. Kinda like glitter.. But I don't use glitter anymore. I use noise. It is easier and has the near same effect. I have learned a lot of neat tricks this time around.
I am about to hit the hay, I am getting tired. I got indigestion too. Yuck. The kids will be up in no time...... Oh boy. It is now almost 3:30am. I will make more tomorrow since my Sims game is acting screwy.

Almost Forgot. Christmas week in review..

I almost forgot with all the craziness that is Christmas Week to touch on some of the finer or whatever points of the week so far. It is Friday, something else might happen. You never know.. Lets go back to Monday. I was getting the house ready for our visit from Chris' part of the family. So I wanted the house to be very clean where i wouldnt have to constantly be cleaning during their visit. Ok. That part worked. So afterwards I go to get in the shower. I turn and the shaving cream can. (Nearly all the way full too) crashing down on my right foot. I cuss, hop around a little, get soap in my eye. Foot Throbbing, I finish my shower. While drying my poor foot I am already got a circle brush on the top right side of my foot around my pinkie toe too!. Yes the bottom of the dang can is what hit me. So, admirring the stupid bruise I am secretly wishing one of those little bones didn't get cracked. I go on about my day thankfully the foot seems fine. Tuesday brings in Christmas and Family. *part of it anyway* I was wishing Jen, my sister would have been able to come up but I knew it would be nearly impossible for her to make the trip from Georgia to Kentucky with her leg as bad as it is. I cook a modest dinner with only three kinds of desserts, usually I go all out. Pumpkin Pies, Lemon Meringue Pies, Cookies, Cakes, Fudge and Brownies. Some times more. But I just make a batch of cookies pumpkin pies and lemon pies coz that is what Caitlin wanted. Started then to notice that Caitlin wasn't feeling too good. She was a bit mouthy at first, but then her cheeks began to become more rosy. A sure sign she isn't feeling too good. Wednesday brings in some wind and chillier temps. So with having family in town we need to some em around. So we go to the Museum on the base here, I have been here a year and never set foot in it til that Wednesday. It wasn't flashy or anything, it showed the heroes and the fallen soldiers of years past. Then it showed the back in the day uniforms soldiers wore. The tanks, jeeps and other stuff they would drive or operate or the weapons. There was all sorts of stuff from each era of war, the world wars, Vietnam war, Korean War, They even had stuff the enemy wore. A plane you could step into to see what soldiers would see.The thing that touched me the most was the wall of fallen soldiers from the base here. The sometimes smiling faces looking down at me, while "Some Gave All" Played softly in the background. It yanked at my heartstrings like nothing else has. The ones who sacrificed their lives... Then to think of their loved ones who sent off a loved one to war and in return got a flag and I am sorry, they gave their live for their country you should be proud. I crumbled. Knowing just in the up coming months that Chris would have to go "over there" I was trying to contain myself this was at the end of the short walk through the museum. The others had went in search of a rest room. As I was trying NOT to cry, Chris asks what is wrong and I shake my head, how do you put that into words? We went to the outside part of the tour, to get an appreciation of how large some of these planes and weapons were that soldiers had and still use today...
Then they had a memorial similar to the one in Washington of all the names of the fallen. It wasn't nearly as touching as the pictures that were inside. What is a name to a stranger? Especially without a telling of what happened. Sometimes you don't want to know what did happen.. The impact of that visit was more than the dread of what is coming up. How the shift of life is and how guilty I felt that the reason Chris re-enlisted in the first place was to get me to be able to have help with my headaches, and what a pain it is to go to the doctor here. Just what you go through now, just to get an appointment with your doctor.. Sometimes having to call back hour after hour day after day. Just to be seen about a cold... Thursday, our visitors had to head back home. So things sort of went back to normal. Had to take Caitlin to the doctor. Called the clinic up here at the hospital. Couldn't get an appointment with them so they referred me to another clinic a town away. Caitlin was complaining about her throat, headache, fever and cough. It turned out she had an ear infection? That dont make sense? She said her ear didn't hurt!! Oy vey. Friday, today. No plans, I just finished cooking muffins. I want to do something haven't figured out what yet... Just wondering how long Chris will have to work. I have the eager feeling of giving him a big hug...

Almost back to Normal

Well looks like everything is about to return to normal. Or as close to normal as it can be around here. Caitlin got sick in the middle of all this craziness. She has a sore throat, cough, fever and a stuffy nose. Lauren and Jacob are their normal bouncy selfs. Caitlin's appointment is at 1:30 this afternoon. Looks like Lauren has a cough now. But Caitlin's appointment can't come quick enough for her. She is so miserable. I just hope she gets better soon. She is not the best patient.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!!

This tag, I originally made this for a tag your tut (tutorial) for a fellow member at Creative Haven. But I liked the result so I made two versions. Basically the same. This one reads "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!! I made this with a creative delusions tut. With a Michael Landefeld tube. I think it looks very nice.

It was a fairly simple tut that turned out nice in no time!

This is with the original saying. But i didn't have any tubes with like shhh!! Don't say a word. That is the reason I made one say Don't hate me because I am beautiful. lol. I think it suited it better than the original saying.

Our Christmas 2007

Merry Christmas Everyone. I also wish everyone a Happy Holiday for whomever don't celebrate Christmas. This is our little tree. It is a mismatch of stuff. I am proud of it though it is our first time celebrating in our house. I loved celebrating with Jen, it is just sorta weird not having her and her bunch but, I was happy to hear the kids being excited when they saw that Santa came this morning here. Today I miss her the most. Everyone smiling and being happy together. The kids are sharing a few video games they got as a together type present. Caitlin is up first. They got lots of goodies. This Christmas wasn't the big blowout I wanted it to be but we are together So that is good enough for me. Now I am ready for a nap! lol

Lets talk Christmas Tags

I thought I would share some of my Christmas Tags. I made some of these at the beginning of the season. (Tag Season starting I think beginning of November?) This is called Pink Christmas. Yup I used a tutorial named Pink Christmas. The tube is a Cherie Roberts. She does beautiful photograph type pinups. Really nice. I couldn't wait to use that tube. Just now I wish I used it more!!!


This beauty of a tag was made by a tutorial called Smoldering. I turned it into a Christmas tag. So I call it Smoldering-Christmas. lol. I know I am a genius at naming these tags aren't I?
But I ended up doing two versions of this one. This one with an Alan Stevens tube and another one I colored the roses blue and added a nice looking Thierry Beaudenon tube. I think she is wearing a swimsuit. But I thought I would share this one.. I will try to proudly display more tomorrow. I also hope to display some New Years Tags also.

It's A Popeye Christmas

OK so I am suppose to be making some tags for people that have requested tags or have won tags. So I go WWO's up at a couple groups and then I have my pick a prize up at Good Times. So I have two to make for someone that has won some games. The tags aren't all that complicated to make but.... Popeye Wong announced he had some new tubes on his site. I saw little hearts dancing. I love his work! I was so excited, so I had to go over and get the ones I haven't got or missed. He even has some really nice guy ones too. He also release a "Chubby Line." Paying tribute to the BBW's. (Big Beautiful Women) Over at one of the groups I am a member of they had this scrap kit tutorial see image. They used Susanna Woolcott. (Sorry if I misspelled her name) But I don't have a license to use her tubes coz I haven't bought any yet. So I uses one of Popeye's new or newer tubes with this Christmas kit I have been anxious to use. It worked out beautiful! So now I think I should return to PSP and finish the tags I should have been making to begin with. This might possibly be my last Christmas Tag I make. Especially since Christmas is what TUESDAY!! And I haven't gotten all the present wrapped. uh-oh. I haven't gotten the kids stockings personalized yet. Here it is after midnight. Damn it. Yesterday was World Orgasm Day. We were suppose to celebrate that at 12:08am early Saturday morning. Oh well.. that could be everyday. lol Ok i will not go any farther with that topic!
Have a good nights rest!! And Seasons Greetings.

Beauty

This is my newest tag. I used the tut called "Adore You" over on this very nice tut site called creativedelusionz I love the looks of their tuts. I don't like doing many tuts but these seem easy to use and they are beautiful!! But I have been psping for a while now so, my easy could be another taggers difficult or too easy peesy. lol.









This little beauty is called Roses-N-Lace. It is one of my favorite tags right now. It was done loosely following a tut. I can't remember right now where I did go to to have help with this one. The original tag design was suppose to be red. I am not crazy about red in tags. (Even though I want a red coffee pot)

2007 What a year of Change

Times have changed. I haven't updated in a while. lol. It seems that I forgot about having this blog. I made it in Aug 05. Here it is Dec 2007, with Christmas being days away. This time last year we were living home in the North GA mountains to come up here to Fort Campbell. We hardly had any money but Chris had just re-enlisted in the Army and we were on our way to his duty station. Which just happened to be our first duty station. I was scared but excited. I didn't think it through though, I can admit that now. We had no plans on what we were going to be doing when we actually arrived. All we had was gas and food money. We had made dumb mistakes before but we have three kids and they needed a place to sleep, eat and of course watch cartoons. Well, we got that squared away. Found a house to rent. It was tiny. Nearly a shoe box! The five of us were unhappy there and it seemed the kids kept getting sick there. I met several ladies here that I can be friends with. I hope I can continue to be friendly with them but I have a habit of keeping people at an arms length away. I have lost so many people in my life that I really loved, respected. Maybe that is why it is hard for me to be friendly or social with others. I go into anxiety attacks at the grocery store. So I can't deal with those things at least for the time being.

Then in March, we got on post housing. A three bedroom one and a half bath Wahoo!! I get my own toilet! That is where the half bath is, the master bedroom!! I didn't care. It was a far cry from what my sister and I had to endure growing up. That is another post at another time. We bumbled our way through the year. It was tough but we are finally on our own, sure they were a couple of times that we had to cry home to get by. Getting paid twice a month sucks!! His job before the Army was a roofer/mechanic/handy man/Cook/ anything and everything Chris can do a damn good job at it. TRUST ME!! lol ;) But he got paid weekly. It was tough not to get a check every Friday.

Over the summer I was finally able to go to a neurologist and he put me on some migraine meds. It is a complex combination of a little of this and a little of that. I take five or six pills at a time just to keep them in check. I usually can function but sometimes it is hard. It works more than it doesn't so that is a good thing. Since that seizure or whatever it was in Sept 2005 I changed and not for the better. I think that is the link that gave me the migraines. But all tests come out normal so I guess if something is hiding or if I have trigger migraines. (That a certain smell, food etc sets them off.)
The kids started an on post school in August. I was scared at first. They wanted to ride the bus. Yeah Catie is now 8 and Jake is a very outgoing 6 year old but they are my babies!! I have always taken them. But with my meds sometimes effect me depending on the day i suppose. I don't feel comfortable driving anymore than I have to. I also learned about myself that I don't have to have outside contact daily, except for the communications I have on the Internet in my groups over on msn. I don't particularly like company coming over. The house stays clean but this is my safe zone. I suppose my safety net. I know it is possible this is going to lead to agoraphobia. Hopefully not.
Lauren is a sassy four year old now. And boy is she sassy. She will tell you what is on her mind quicker than the blink of an eye. She can be a pistol. She loves Dora the explorer and the Backyardigans. Then the Wonder pets. Who every thought up the show on Nick Jr called Yo Gabba Gabba should be taken behind a barn and whipped!! Pants down with a leather strap. I swear. It is like Barney and the Teletubbies meets the Wiggles and the Doodle bops on Acid. It is soooo weird. Lauren is terrified of the show. That is when we go to Noggin and the safety of Blue's Clues and Go, Diego, Go. We can't forget Moose A Moose and Zee. They teach kids all sorts of things.
OK I sort of went into left field..
Eventually I went to a stomach doctor for my tummy burning. He said I was on the verge of ulcers. Well all i was doing was worrying about how are we going to do this or that. Worrying so much I was worrying about worrying! Then I would over think everything. Then I learned to express it in other ways and I have been happier that way. Either I will write a blog. Or I will create tags. So that is more of a healthy release from the worrying all the time. You can't crap money if you could would you spend it? ewwwwwww.
I didn't get the kids a Halloween costume. So they didn't go trick or treating. I mean why? I never really gave it too much thought before, but you go through life teaching your kids not to talk to strangers, or take anything from strangers then you go door to door, sometimes in neighborhoods you aren't real familiar with begging for candy? I would rather stay at home or have a party or some kind of a get together....
November brought much cooler temps and leaves scattered everywhere. My sis and I were planning a good Thanksgiving Dinner. Jen, Kenny, Matt and Mandy were suppose to come up and have dinner with us and stay a week. We were planning on this for months. But October was a rainy month in Georgia so Kenny didn't get much time in. No time in means no money coming in to the house. So when he was able to work decent hours in November that had to go to catch up the bills that fell behind the previous month. So that fell through. I still cooked the dinner. It wasn't the same I admit. Of course things haven't been the same since all the family has passed over........ Now it is just Me and my lil family up here, Jen and her bunch, Aunt Jojo and her bum I mean hubby, a handful of relatives that I have only met at funerals. Hell I don't know if some really were relatives or if they sneaked in to get free food. The the family that went to Alabama. Dad's side are closer to Atlanta. They might as well be in Siberia they won't come up to see Jen or me since mom and dad are gone. Sad but true.
Now we are in December. We had to cry for help to get the kids their Christmas. My Christmas Wishes were the kids to have a decent Christmas, some toys, some clothes.. The only thing I wanted for myself was some tee shirts that would shrink when you wash them. I am more on the average to extra average size person. Not someone that would or should have such a terrible time finding shirts that fit in the right ways. I have big big boobs. The bra's I have are DDD and they are a cup too small. When I lose weight my boobs get bigger, so that makes my back hurt more. That is the strangest thing though. Usually you lose size not gain it. Oh well.
Got the kids a decent amount of toys and clothes. It was stuff they actually will play with too! Not the frigging electric guitar that Jacob wanted. What would a six year old kid do with a frigging guitar? Who knows maybe he will be the next Joe Perry or some other guitar "hero" lol. Where they won't stick me in an old age home and forget about me.

Our Tree is one of those artificial ones. The lights came with the tree. (pre-lite tree) We decorated it with hand crafted ornaments and bows and dollar tree ornaments and some pretty bows. We goofed up and didn't get enough garland. Who cares. It is ours. Our first Christmas at our own place. It feels special...... Although I am surprised we didn't pull what Mom would do on Christmas. Put the tree up two days before Christmas. Pack it up Christmas Evening.
I have a few gifts to finish wrapping. I need to tidy up the house. We are possibly having guests come up either Christmas day or Day after Christmas. Not really sure yet. SO i want to have the house ready just in case. Not really too much to do. I do have a lot of laundry to fold and put away. I dislike doing that. But it is one of those things. I let it get a little out of hand, since I have been sick for about three weeks. I ain't a hundred percent yet but I am getting there. YAY!
At some point during the year Aunt Jojo and I didn't see eye to eye on an issue and I wanted to spork her (in the eye no less!) Then she had some troubles with her heart or something. She ended up in the hospital (ICU) for a few days or was it a week? Well it wasn't her heart. It was something else. So hopefully she will get better. She apparently had a change of heart. lol. Her thinking changed and realized she was being "a difficult person to get along with" More so than ever in her life. And our little tiff that wanted me to inflict bodily harm to her, she seen the error of how she handled it, she apologized to Jen. (She was caught in the middle) But she never did with Me or Chris who she basically cursed out and said a bunch of negative things behind my back. All this was over one eighty dollar payment. It was two weeks late. Just two weeks. Not months. weeks. $80.00 was more important than anything. She cussed us out. Brought me to tears I was so torn about it (disappointing someone important in my life) I was throwing up blood. The payment got paid when Chris told the finance company when they would get the payment but Jojo at that time chose that that eighty dollar payment was more important than my health and well being. (It was during the time when I was having stomach issues)
Happy to report that loan was paid off ON TIME. In Full totally by us with no help from anyone. I feel that I am a very loyal friend/person. When I can't do something with somebody or what I have planned it tears me up. That's just in my head nagging at me)
But I decided that I would send her a present. No matter what. I remember more good times than bad. Well 50/50 . I try so hard to remember the good over the bad. Like the BONSAI tree thing! lol That was soooo funny. Well I mail her a lighthouse calendar for next year. A cute lil chocolate covered strawberry note pad.... ooo maybe I shouldn't have..... She does have diabetes. ooops. It is just a note pad. Maybe it wont tempt her. I didn't do it on purpose. but more importantly, I sent her a card with a note inside. I asked her something. Something that has been bugging me for a while. I have been regretting not asking mom about some stuff in her life. So since Jojo is the final link to that part of my life. The last chain to mom I asked her. "All I want for Christmas from you, it costs no money. You don't have to go to a store to get it. All I want is your memories of mom, granny, papa and your other brother and sister. I want the good, bad and ugly." Since she isn't the self obsessed person she has been in past couple years maybe she will share those with me. I will soon find out. She should get her calendar, notepad and that card by next Friday. It took me longer to fill her bag and mail it that I thought it would. Another OOOOPPPPPSSS!

So that all the family turmoil seems to be OK now. I am going to be looking forward to the kids faces on Christmas Day then I will happily look forward to the new year...