2007 What a year of Change

Times have changed. I haven't updated in a while. lol. It seems that I forgot about having this blog. I made it in Aug 05. Here it is Dec 2007, with Christmas being days away. This time last year we were living home in the North GA mountains to come up here to Fort Campbell. We hardly had any money but Chris had just re-enlisted in the Army and we were on our way to his duty station. Which just happened to be our first duty station. I was scared but excited. I didn't think it through though, I can admit that now. We had no plans on what we were going to be doing when we actually arrived. All we had was gas and food money. We had made dumb mistakes before but we have three kids and they needed a place to sleep, eat and of course watch cartoons. Well, we got that squared away. Found a house to rent. It was tiny. Nearly a shoe box! The five of us were unhappy there and it seemed the kids kept getting sick there. I met several ladies here that I can be friends with. I hope I can continue to be friendly with them but I have a habit of keeping people at an arms length away. I have lost so many people in my life that I really loved, respected. Maybe that is why it is hard for me to be friendly or social with others. I go into anxiety attacks at the grocery store. So I can't deal with those things at least for the time being.

Then in March, we got on post housing. A three bedroom one and a half bath Wahoo!! I get my own toilet! That is where the half bath is, the master bedroom!! I didn't care. It was a far cry from what my sister and I had to endure growing up. That is another post at another time. We bumbled our way through the year. It was tough but we are finally on our own, sure they were a couple of times that we had to cry home to get by. Getting paid twice a month sucks!! His job before the Army was a roofer/mechanic/handy man/Cook/ anything and everything Chris can do a damn good job at it. TRUST ME!! lol ;) But he got paid weekly. It was tough not to get a check every Friday.

Over the summer I was finally able to go to a neurologist and he put me on some migraine meds. It is a complex combination of a little of this and a little of that. I take five or six pills at a time just to keep them in check. I usually can function but sometimes it is hard. It works more than it doesn't so that is a good thing. Since that seizure or whatever it was in Sept 2005 I changed and not for the better. I think that is the link that gave me the migraines. But all tests come out normal so I guess if something is hiding or if I have trigger migraines. (That a certain smell, food etc sets them off.)
The kids started an on post school in August. I was scared at first. They wanted to ride the bus. Yeah Catie is now 8 and Jake is a very outgoing 6 year old but they are my babies!! I have always taken them. But with my meds sometimes effect me depending on the day i suppose. I don't feel comfortable driving anymore than I have to. I also learned about myself that I don't have to have outside contact daily, except for the communications I have on the Internet in my groups over on msn. I don't particularly like company coming over. The house stays clean but this is my safe zone. I suppose my safety net. I know it is possible this is going to lead to agoraphobia. Hopefully not.
Lauren is a sassy four year old now. And boy is she sassy. She will tell you what is on her mind quicker than the blink of an eye. She can be a pistol. She loves Dora the explorer and the Backyardigans. Then the Wonder pets. Who every thought up the show on Nick Jr called Yo Gabba Gabba should be taken behind a barn and whipped!! Pants down with a leather strap. I swear. It is like Barney and the Teletubbies meets the Wiggles and the Doodle bops on Acid. It is soooo weird. Lauren is terrified of the show. That is when we go to Noggin and the safety of Blue's Clues and Go, Diego, Go. We can't forget Moose A Moose and Zee. They teach kids all sorts of things.
OK I sort of went into left field..
Eventually I went to a stomach doctor for my tummy burning. He said I was on the verge of ulcers. Well all i was doing was worrying about how are we going to do this or that. Worrying so much I was worrying about worrying! Then I would over think everything. Then I learned to express it in other ways and I have been happier that way. Either I will write a blog. Or I will create tags. So that is more of a healthy release from the worrying all the time. You can't crap money if you could would you spend it? ewwwwwww.
I didn't get the kids a Halloween costume. So they didn't go trick or treating. I mean why? I never really gave it too much thought before, but you go through life teaching your kids not to talk to strangers, or take anything from strangers then you go door to door, sometimes in neighborhoods you aren't real familiar with begging for candy? I would rather stay at home or have a party or some kind of a get together....
November brought much cooler temps and leaves scattered everywhere. My sis and I were planning a good Thanksgiving Dinner. Jen, Kenny, Matt and Mandy were suppose to come up and have dinner with us and stay a week. We were planning on this for months. But October was a rainy month in Georgia so Kenny didn't get much time in. No time in means no money coming in to the house. So when he was able to work decent hours in November that had to go to catch up the bills that fell behind the previous month. So that fell through. I still cooked the dinner. It wasn't the same I admit. Of course things haven't been the same since all the family has passed over........ Now it is just Me and my lil family up here, Jen and her bunch, Aunt Jojo and her bum I mean hubby, a handful of relatives that I have only met at funerals. Hell I don't know if some really were relatives or if they sneaked in to get free food. The the family that went to Alabama. Dad's side are closer to Atlanta. They might as well be in Siberia they won't come up to see Jen or me since mom and dad are gone. Sad but true.
Now we are in December. We had to cry for help to get the kids their Christmas. My Christmas Wishes were the kids to have a decent Christmas, some toys, some clothes.. The only thing I wanted for myself was some tee shirts that would shrink when you wash them. I am more on the average to extra average size person. Not someone that would or should have such a terrible time finding shirts that fit in the right ways. I have big big boobs. The bra's I have are DDD and they are a cup too small. When I lose weight my boobs get bigger, so that makes my back hurt more. That is the strangest thing though. Usually you lose size not gain it. Oh well.
Got the kids a decent amount of toys and clothes. It was stuff they actually will play with too! Not the frigging electric guitar that Jacob wanted. What would a six year old kid do with a frigging guitar? Who knows maybe he will be the next Joe Perry or some other guitar "hero" lol. Where they won't stick me in an old age home and forget about me.

Our Tree is one of those artificial ones. The lights came with the tree. (pre-lite tree) We decorated it with hand crafted ornaments and bows and dollar tree ornaments and some pretty bows. We goofed up and didn't get enough garland. Who cares. It is ours. Our first Christmas at our own place. It feels special...... Although I am surprised we didn't pull what Mom would do on Christmas. Put the tree up two days before Christmas. Pack it up Christmas Evening.
I have a few gifts to finish wrapping. I need to tidy up the house. We are possibly having guests come up either Christmas day or Day after Christmas. Not really sure yet. SO i want to have the house ready just in case. Not really too much to do. I do have a lot of laundry to fold and put away. I dislike doing that. But it is one of those things. I let it get a little out of hand, since I have been sick for about three weeks. I ain't a hundred percent yet but I am getting there. YAY!
At some point during the year Aunt Jojo and I didn't see eye to eye on an issue and I wanted to spork her (in the eye no less!) Then she had some troubles with her heart or something. She ended up in the hospital (ICU) for a few days or was it a week? Well it wasn't her heart. It was something else. So hopefully she will get better. She apparently had a change of heart. lol. Her thinking changed and realized she was being "a difficult person to get along with" More so than ever in her life. And our little tiff that wanted me to inflict bodily harm to her, she seen the error of how she handled it, she apologized to Jen. (She was caught in the middle) But she never did with Me or Chris who she basically cursed out and said a bunch of negative things behind my back. All this was over one eighty dollar payment. It was two weeks late. Just two weeks. Not months. weeks. $80.00 was more important than anything. She cussed us out. Brought me to tears I was so torn about it (disappointing someone important in my life) I was throwing up blood. The payment got paid when Chris told the finance company when they would get the payment but Jojo at that time chose that that eighty dollar payment was more important than my health and well being. (It was during the time when I was having stomach issues)
Happy to report that loan was paid off ON TIME. In Full totally by us with no help from anyone. I feel that I am a very loyal friend/person. When I can't do something with somebody or what I have planned it tears me up. That's just in my head nagging at me)
But I decided that I would send her a present. No matter what. I remember more good times than bad. Well 50/50 . I try so hard to remember the good over the bad. Like the BONSAI tree thing! lol That was soooo funny. Well I mail her a lighthouse calendar for next year. A cute lil chocolate covered strawberry note pad.... ooo maybe I shouldn't have..... She does have diabetes. ooops. It is just a note pad. Maybe it wont tempt her. I didn't do it on purpose. but more importantly, I sent her a card with a note inside. I asked her something. Something that has been bugging me for a while. I have been regretting not asking mom about some stuff in her life. So since Jojo is the final link to that part of my life. The last chain to mom I asked her. "All I want for Christmas from you, it costs no money. You don't have to go to a store to get it. All I want is your memories of mom, granny, papa and your other brother and sister. I want the good, bad and ugly." Since she isn't the self obsessed person she has been in past couple years maybe she will share those with me. I will soon find out. She should get her calendar, notepad and that card by next Friday. It took me longer to fill her bag and mail it that I thought it would. Another OOOOPPPPPSSS!

So that all the family turmoil seems to be OK now. I am going to be looking forward to the kids faces on Christmas Day then I will happily look forward to the new year...